For the past few days, I've been yearning for silence. I felt that something was missing. I felt restless and uncomfortable in someway that I couldn't explain. Then, I talked to my good friend "Tater" (not real name) and expressed my yearning for silence. I could barely grasp the idea that I needed to stop, listen and figure things out. I told him that I just want to sit on a bench, look at the world and savor the silence. Just listen to the world and keep still. I guess being surrounded by people all the time and talking all the time makes you miss the time savoring your own . I kinda lost myself in translation. I really need to learn to leave work once I logged out from the system. Savor the time to be still, breathe and tell myself that I've done a great job at the end of the day.
I was watching MTV Inside Lady Gaga Outside. She said that there was a point while she was doing tours she kinda lost herself. She said "I have been traveling around the world and it's getting smaller. I miss New York." She knew that she wants to be even better in her craft. She wants to give more creativity and passion for her fans but she was kinda loosing her touch. She was too immersed to what she loves. She had to stepped back, go home to New York spend time with family and friends and savor her alone time with her bicycle, Henry. She said whenever she rides Henry around town, she feels that the world is bigger because it will take her a long time to get back where her house is located. Not like when she in a plane or in a car, she felt the world is smaller and linear. She takes the time to look around her and see the bright neon lights of New York.
As she was telling her story, I realized something. I was feeling the same way. I was too immersed at work, the thing that I'm passionate about, teaching/training people. I'm confided in the four corners of the training room. I forgot that I need to breathe and focus on myself. I need to breathe so I can even be better on what I do.
I guess one of the things I miss is to explore the world on my own. Going to a place that I've never been to and get lost... get lost in translation... in a good way. But I know I don't have that much leaves to explore the world in full blast. So I need to find balance first with work, being a grad school student and play.
I need to find my inner peace first... silence...
